My answer to Why are people mean? Do they not know they are hurting someone else?
Answer by David Cornblatt:
There is two possible answers here depending on if this is a rare occasion to experience mean people or a common experience.
If this is a rare experience then it can mean that a person is so unhappy inside that they want to take it out on other people, as it makes them feel better about themselves, so they think. Having had some streaks of “meanness” in my past, I didn’t care if I hurt someone, in fact I wanted to annoy, upset or hurt someone as it made me feel better than them.
The second is if this is a common experience then it could be the way you see life and people. For me, I can’t remember that last time I encountered a mean person. Why? I don’t see people as mean, I see them as simply people with various understanding about life. Because I am an upbeat person, I tend to attract upbeat people, and tend to make people not so upbeat a little more upbeat.
I defuse meanness by not getting emotionally on their rollorcoaster. I ask questions with a softer voice, and I do my best not to “react” to their attempted jab.
I call this emotional Tai Chi. Tai Chi as a martial art, uses your opponents energy against themselves. It is very graceful, and both interesting and funny to watch, because the harder the person “punches” the quicker they end up on the ground.
“What you resit, persists” When we resist anything, we give it life and then see more of it. If we talk how bad something or someone is we actually are putting gas on an emotional fire. We are dealing with our ego here making us correct, and the other wrong. It is usually easier to “think’ you can change the situation out side of your self, however seeing more “non-mean” people is an inside job. If you really want to experience more happy, nice people, then focus on it and know that this the way that you will think and so it shall BE!
Hope this helps.
Make today Great!
David