The very thing that guides us in life, the thing that we use to measure every experience that we have ever had, the thing that we use all day every day, the thing that we strive to “have better” can you believe is so taboo that most of us cant talk about it/them in depth openly? We can talk about what we have, who we like, who we hate, what taste good, what’s fun and what is sad.
So what is so taboo? Talking about our feelings. Now if all of a sudden you feel like clicking on, that is because of a feeling, perhaps dis-ease, or you want to read on, which could be that you feel I am on to something and you feel I may spark a nice feeling.
Feelings are the beromiter of how we measure things. In many cases if it feels good, we do more of it, and some of also do more of things that feel bad. A quote I coined several years ago is “Pain is no more than an indicator of a lesson to be learned” and the lesson is ALWAYS the same, believe it or not. YOU don’t have to have or be in pain. And yes, pain is a feeling.
Another piece I came up with is the my Pain Formula
eP=fG-(fE+F)
Emotional pain is the difference between the feelings of our gut minus the feelings from our ego and fears.
So when our gut, ego and fears are not in allignment, ther is pain. (Allignment meaning tat they are on the same page or in agreement)
For example that actually happened to me 25+ years ago:
I was in Giant with a friend, and bottled water was just becoming popular. I was appalled at paying some $9 for a case. So I put it on the bottom of the cart, hoping that the cashier would not see it. I felt like I could “pull one over on them” because I was smarter, better and how the hell could they charge me $9 for a case of water….. The feelings I got after thinking about this and on the way to the register were both excitement and dis-ease. I allowed my ego to take controll so as imagined, the cashier didn’t check and as I was outside, I high-fived my friend. At that point I felt a deep sence of guilt, and I tried to focus on the great score I made, but the feeling of guilt was so ever present.
Years after this I felt the guilt even though it happened years ago, it was still there.
I realized that the emotional cost to me of stealing that water was insurmountable compared to the price I should have paid. Now if I continued to steal things not only would I feel this guilt build, but my trust for people and things would diminish rapidly. We see the world based on how we see ourselves.
I am very fortunate to feel the feeling of any experience in my life that I can recall at the point in time it happened.
Because I was emotionally aware of what I did and the bad feeling that subconsciously it left me with, I made a vast change. I never stood another case of water.
Of course I now would never take anything that is not mine, and if I do walk out of the grocery store with something I didnt pay for, I will go back in and pay for it. The feeling that I get when I do go back in and pay for it actually gives me a high. It makes me feel really good!
When we are open to talk about our feelings to our friends, family and specially our children, we show and experience the basis of life or the feelings that is the berometier for which we make delicious on.
The reason that many suffer is their inability to talk about their feelings (nothing new here) as the feelings are not talked about they continue to build intil they are dealt with, masked with medications or drugs, an emotional explosion occurs or the dis-ease is taken out on someone or some thing completely unrelated to the situation.
Feelings ARE one of the cornerstones to our being, we are afraid to talk about them as it shows others who we really are behind the ego-facade we have built. I am showing you who I am. I am proud of who I am, be proud of who you are behind your ego walls. You are a good person, doing the best that you can, as we all are.
As we let go of our ego and fears, we become at peace with ourselves, it is a beautiful thing and perhaps the most beautiful gift you can give to yourself and share with your family.
Lastly, for may years I had anger at my brother and mother and actually hated them. Being authentic with them, communicating without ego, and talking about feelings has brought Scott and my mom so close that it has made something at one time so bitter, to something so delicious! I am truly greatful to have them both in my life…. and yes I made it happen, as did they.
Make today GREAT! You deserve it!
David
P.S. 1/2 of you will read this, half of you wont, if you post it, paste it, send it, or trash it, that is entirely up to you, I hope that it makes you think even the slightest way differently. And you will still be my friend.